I invite two girlfriends for lunch, need some feedback on my project, the website, the blog, the annalananna adventure … Feedback is scary, but it’s the only way to move forward, always. First they call me brave. Then they tell me I have to be bolder. Dig deeper. Reveal more and show myself.
The only way to find out what you want and who you are is to be more personal.
”If you really mean to communicate” they say, ”we need to meet you in person, we want to see who you are.” I try to explain that this project is not so much about me as a person, but about encouraging other women to be creative and courageous. ”You still have to meet us” they insist, ”show us your face, be more personal. Otherwise it won’t be genuine enough. If your message is BE BOLD, you have to be bolder yourself.”
I feel embarrassed and shy. This means that I have to expose my face. It may sound shallow, but it’s the opposite – to me showing my face is showing my soul. My girlfriends confirm my feeling: ”The only way you can find out what you really want and who you really are is to be as personal as you can – and the first step is to show your face. You have to own it all the way. Face it!”
I instinctively know they are right. This project and this blog requires SELFIES. That’s the conclusion. I hate selfies, I feel naked, ugly, fat and silly. And exactly THIS makes it important. My Be-Bold-And-Be-Who-You-Are-message can never be true enough if I allow myself to think like that.
But I don’t want you to think that I’m using myself as a currency. I don’t seek confirmation, I just want to communicate. I guess this is the fine thin line, the walk on the rope in the social circus. I’m torn … What will people think??? This f-ing question holds us back and stops us from experimenting.
I guess this is the fine thin line, the walk on the rope in the social circus.
So I start to experiment, posting selfies on instagram and facebook. I get likes and kind comments, it … works. This makes me think that I’m mature enough to publish a selfie on the blog as well. It does NOT work. When I try to upload my photo wordpress refuses to accept it! It’s true! Instead I get this message:
Cannot create wp-content/uploads/2020/09 directory. Is the parent directory writeable by the server?
Lauging Out Loud! What kind of sentence is this, what kind of question??? Here I am thinking that if I only dare to show my face everything will be fine and I will be trustworthy and reliable. But in the end it turns out to be much more complicated: How can I show myself if technology refuses my picture?
If we can’t publish our faces – who are we?
To be continued. Love and care. And music!